


but it feels like home

by zapattersongs



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26095108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zapattersongs/pseuds/zapattersongs
Summary: An unexpected delivery for Patterson and too many missed phone calls for Tasha lead them both to the same thoughts.
Relationships: Patterson/Tasha Zapata
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	but it feels like home

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mess but it's my mess.

Rich is gonna drive her crazy.

They've been stuck with the same four clues for three hours and they've done absolutely no progress. He's convinced they have everything they need and just have to find the way to put it all together to get their next destination. The truth is he's as frustrated as she is because, after three hours, they have nothing. If she hears one more of his sighs, she's gonna _kill_ him.

Thanfully, a knock on the door of his apartment saves them from spending two more hours the same way.

As soon as they hear it, he jumps off his chair and goes get it. Patterson, on the other hand, waits for him there, leaning her head against her arms on the table. Making no progress is exhausting. She's exhausted and annoyed. She considers taking her phone out, turning it on and checking Twitter or calling Tasha, seeing if she is having a better day than hers. But she knows Rich will be back anytime and probably give her another lecture about how having their phones on distracts them from solving the next puzzle. And she prefers spending another three hours hearing his frustrated sighs than hearing that lecture again.

Her head is still against her arms when he comes back. "Delivery for Willie P. Patterson." She looks up at him, frowning at his words, only to quickly change her expression to a surprised one the moment her eyes fall to the kid he's holding. That's _her_ kid.

"Ali?" she asks, getting up from the chair and approaching her daughter in no time.

"Mamma," the girl pouts, extending her hands to her, asking to be picked up.

Patterson is pretty sure she sees trails of tears in her cheeks as she takes the child from Rich's arms, feeling the girl quickly hide into her neck. "What is-" before she can finish the question, her father enters the room, answering the question of how her daughter got there. "Dad? What's going on? Why are you here? Why isn't Ali in school? Did something happen?" She knows what she sounds like, but, _hey_ , her four-year-old hasn't missed a single day of preschool since she started it, nor has she complained about going. So it's only natural that she's worried now.

"Hey, kiddo," her father greets her, smiling and ignoring her questioning.

"Dad!"

"She's fine, the school called me after they couldn't reach you. She just has a bit of a bellyache." he finally explains.

"Right..." she whispers, a little relieved, while rubbing the girl's back and leaving a kiss on her head. "I'm gonna take her home," she says looking at Rich, hoping he understands. She's not gonna lie, she's glad she doesn't have to keep bumping her head against the wall they are stuck on for the rest of the day.

He just nods at her, clearly relieved too, although she's sure he'll never admit it.

She picks up her things, turns her phone on and, indeed, sees a few calls from the school. Maybe she should talk to Rich about that policy of his. He may not need to be available at all times but _she's a mother._ And, sure, she hasn't needed it before, but today shows she _should_ have her phone on while they work. It's already bad enough with all the traveling they do.

After saying goodbye to Rich, she exits his apartment, followed by her father and is only stopped, when she's reached her car, by her phone ringing. She finishes fastening her daughter into her car seat before checking it out.

_Tasha._

"Hey, Tash," she replies, getting into the car and fastening her own belt.

"Hey," Tasha answers, sounding a bit distressed.

"You okay?"

"Yes. I just took my phone and saw that I had a couple of calls from school... Did they reach you? Do you know what that's about?"

"Oh. Yeah. They called me too but you know how Rich gets, he made me turn off the phone when I got here. Anyway, they called my dad. Ali is not feeling well, she has a stomachache. He picked her up and we're going home now."

She hears her wife sigh before she talks again. "Right. Okay, I'll finish up as fast as I can here and meet you there..."

"Alright." She can still hear the tension in Tasha's end, so she adds, "Tash, don't worry, she's okay."

"Yeah... Yeah, I'm sorry I just..."

"I know," she whispers, knowing full well what Tasha is feeling. Because she gets it, she knows about having too many missed calls and not knowing what has happened, and she knows about feeling like you should have been there the moment you got the call. And she knows Tasha, she knows that's what's bugging her right now, the fact that she didn't answer the phone, the fact that she wasn't there when her kid needed her. And she knows she tends to doubt her ability to be a mother when things like this happen, which is ridiculous because out of the two of them Patterson is the one that's always missing things. "No one expects you to be available 24/7, Tash. You're only human."

"I know."

"It's alright if you miss a phone call, that's why they also have my dad's number and Allie's number. Because sometimes neither of us will be able to answer, and it's okay."

"Yeah. I know, I know..." She lets out a sigh.

"Okay..." She's not convinced but she lets it go. "Take as long as you need with work, we'll be home when you're done."

"Yeah..."

"Tash?" Patterson calls after a few second of silence.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." And in those four words she finally hears Tasha relax.

* * *

It takes her an hour.

One hour after the phonecall with Patterson, Tasha is finally opening the door to their house. She walks through the hallway listening for any clue about where her daughter and her wife are. After not seeing them in the living room and the opened rooms, she walks into the kitchen, where she finds them.

Tasha leans against the doorframe and smiles at the sight she finds. The blonde is holding the child against her hip while she looks for something in the cupboards. The child's head leaned on Patterson's shoulder while she plays with her mother's necklace.

Before she can say anything, Ali looks over Patterson's shoulder and sees her, instantly lighting up and causing Tasha's smile to widen. "MAMI!" she shouts right next to Patterson's ear.

"Ow," the blonde complains before turning around and smiling at her wife.

The brunette walks over to them and picks up the child. "Hi, baby," she says before leaving a few kisses in the girl's cheek and a few in her wife's lips, while their daughter wraps her arms around Tasha's neck. "Mamma told me you're not feeling well?" she asks the girl, pulling back to look at her and letting Patterson get back to cooking, now with both hands free.

Ali's eyes water at the same time as she pouts. A pout that Tasha has to stop herself from mimicking. The girl shakes her head before talking. "My tummy hurts."

"I know, baby," she says, lightly rubbing the girl's belly. "But we're gonna have..." She takes a look at what Patterson is cooking before continuing. "Mamma's white rice and then we're gonna take a nap," she tells her, sitting down and filling up the girl's special cup with water before handing it to her to drink. "And you'll feel better soon."

Patterson had messaged her when they got home telling her about how the girl had thrown up as soon as they got into the house and asking where their thermometer was because she felt like the child could have a fever but couldn't find it. In the end, she did not have a fever but that didn't stop Tasha from rushing through the last few documents she had to check and turning what would have been an hour of work into half an hour.

An hour later, they've had lunch and are ready to take a nap.

Ali's pout hasn't disappeared from her lips since her 'mami' made her sit in her own chair, pulling her away from the safety of her mother's neck, and put a plate in front of her to eat.

As for Tasha? Well, she hasn't stopped having some kind of physical contact with the kid for longer than two seconds since she got home. And, yes, Patterson noticed, but she leaves that conversation for another time.

Now, both of them are tucked in their bed, Ali gripping the front of Tasha's shirt and Tasha holding her with her eyes closed. Patterson smiles at the sight before joining them, leaving a kiss in her daughter's hair and hugging them both, reaching for her wife's arm, in a caress that she hopes comforts her.

Tasha's eyes open at the contact, quickly readjusting to meet Patterson's. The worry in her eyes is obvious but Patterson wants to think her own reassuring look is what makes the fear slowly dissipate. They smile at each other before closing their eyes, ready to take that nap.

* * *

The sound of an alarm in her phone is what wakes Tasha.

She tries to reach for it but soon realizes it's no use, there's something - someone - over her chest limiting her movement. The alarm stops before she can do anything about it. She slowly opens her eyes to find what isn't letting her move freely.

_Alicia._

She chuckles. Her daughter is sprawled all over her.

Now knowing what is stopping her movement, she looks to the other side of the bed. No sign of her wife. Confused about that, she listens for any sign of her in the house. She soon hears a thud and a faint "fuck" that she guesses came from the living room. So that's where she is.

She reaches for her phone, unlocking it to check what time it is, and-- _Fuck!_

Just as she's noticing how late it is, Patterson gets into the room, fully dressed, purse and keys in hand.

She must see how wide Tasha's eyes are and guess what she realized cause she quickly smiles reassuringly before telling her "I'm going. Keep resting with Ali. We'll be here in no time," and winking at her, before giving her a quick kiss and leaving.

After a few seconds, Tasha sighs. How could she forget _that_?! Naps always mess with her perception of time... She really needs to avoid taking them...

* * *

Patterson reaches the school in no time. Tasha is usually the one that goes pick up the twins so she's not surprised about the looks she gets from some of the other parents. She feels a little exposed, sure, but she used to be an fbi agent, some judgy adults are not something she can't handle.

The looks only increment when the kids start getting out of school and her son, who they clearly know is also Tasha's son, sees her and shouts a "mamma!" before running towards her and jumping into her arms.

"Hey, baby boy."

"Ma, is Ali okay?" he asks, a pout appearing on his face. "Where's mami?"

"She's okay, Ed. They are both home. Ali is a little sick but she's gonna be okay. Like you were a few months ago, remember?"

The kid gives a curt nod, getting into deep thought right after. Patterson observes him until he speaks again. "We gotta go, ma, we gotta make Ali be better," he says, determined.

"You wanna take care of your sister?" she asks. And after getting another nod, she puts the kid down and takes his hand. "Let's go, then."

When they get home, he runs to his mothers' bedroom, where Tasha still lies caressing his sister's back, with her eyes closed and her lips pressed to the girl's head. She opens her eyes and looks at him when she hears his steps, a smile instantly appearing on her face when she sees him. "Hi, baby," she greets him, smile growing when she sees his eyes wide with worry looking at his sister.

"Hola, mami," he says, with a slight pout and his eyes fixed on his sister.

"Ed," she tries to get his attention, "she's gonna be okay," she tells him, before extracting herself from under the child and moving to help the boy onto the bed, motioning for him to lie next to the girl.

He crawls towards her, leaning down to leave a kiss on her forehead before lying down next to her. Seeing this, Tasha's gaze meets her wife's, who's leaning against the doorframe watching the scene with a fond smile, similar to Tasha's. Patterson easily understands the motion of her wife's eyes, asking her to lie on the other side of the bed, with them, and she doesn't have to be asked twice.

Not long after the three of them are drifting into sleep, only to be waken by a much more energized Ali, that feels a lot better after her nap and got bored of waiting for either of them to wake up.

Later that night, while, sitting on the couch, Ed tells Ali about what she missed in school and after putting away the last fork left in the table, Patterson walks over towards Tasha and hugs her from behind, leaning her forehead on her wife's shoulder and tightening her hold on her waist when she feels Tasha's arms over her own and a sigh escape her lips.

After a few seconds, Patterson takes a deep breath before she speaks, mumbling into the back of Tasha's shoulder. "I'm gonna talk to Rich."

"Huh?" Tasha tries to look at her, frowning.

Patterson sighs, actively avoiding her eyes and holding her so that she can't turn around. "You're not the only one that didn't answer the calls today. And unlike you, I wasn't making any progress at work. The only reason I didn't answer was Rich's no phone rule..."

"Hey," Tasha whispers, pinching Patterson's arm and slowly extracting herself from her wife's arms to turn around and cup her face to make her look at her. She leans until their foreheads are touching and brushes their noses together before leaning a little closer and leaving a kiss on Patterson's lips. "You were the one that told me that I can't be there 24/7, you know? That applies to you too."

Patterson shakes her head. "I wasn't doing anything... I could have seen the call, I should have--" Tasha's eyebrows twitch. "It doesn't matter, that rule is dumb, so I'm talking to him about it."

"Okay..."

"I'm also gonna tell him I'm not going to be traveling with him anymore."

"Patterson, no." She leans back, taken aback by her wife's unexpected words. "No. You already gave up a lot two years ago."

"And it's not enough."

"No. It's not fair for you. You love your work with Rich, Patterson, you love those trips--"

"But I love my family more," Patterson says, successfully making Tasha pause. "And I'm tired. I'm tired of missing things. I'm still missing so many things... I just..." She sighs, looking for the right words. "I need to be here," she whispers, when she finds them.

Tasha frowns, before cupping Patterson's face again and wanting to make all the sadness she can now see in her eyes disappear. "You _are_ here." She quickly wipes a tear that runs down Patterson's cheek as she shakes her head. "You are. Remember how it used to be? _That_ was not being here. But you are now."

"It's still not enough," Patterson says, before wrapping her hands around Tasha's wrists. "I know how you felt this morning, when you called me." Zapata's jaw clenches as she looks away from the blonde's eyes. "And I know because that's how _I_ feel." Tasha's eyes meet hers again. "That's how I feel whenever I'm away and I find more than one missed calls. I can't do it anymore."

After some seconds, looking at each other, Tasha sighs. "Okay." She still thinks Patterson shouldn't have to give up her work, she isn't away _that_ anymore, and she's still afraid it might-- but she gets it. "Just... Think about it for a little longer, okay? And if you still want to talk to him, do it. But don't make the decision now."

Patterson wants to argue, but instead lets out a sigh and nods. She can wait a few days.

And with one last kiss and a tiny smile, Tasha is turning around and walking towards the couch and their kids. "Alright, what movie did you two little monsters decide you want to watch?" she asks them, picking up the remote and scrolling through the library of Disney movies."

"Ed wants to watch Frozen but we have watched it so many times," Ali whines, ignoring her brother's pout.

"And what do you want to watch?"

"The lion king!"

"Oh, because we haven't watched that one as many times?" Tasha asks, moving her hands to tickle her daughter.

"Nooo, mami!" The girl complains between laughs. "Stooop."

"Okay," Tasha starts once she has stopped with the tickles. "Since Ali hasn't been feeling well today," she says, looking at her son. "What about we watch the lion king now, and when she's well, we go to get Ed's favorite ice cream?"

Both of the kids' faces light up at her words. "Yes!" he screams at the same time as his sister asks "Can Bethany come?" And the smile that was growing in Tasha's lips turns into a laugh.

From behind the couch, Patterson observes the scene, with sparkling eyes and a smile she couldn't suppress even if she wanted to. There's nothing for her to think about. She's gonna talk to Rich as soon as she can.

**Author's Note:**

> I have wanted to write this since I found out Tasha was pregnant... Obviously some things changes to adapt it to the finale, but I started it and finally FINALLY finished it.


End file.
